If you are expecting this site to show a person whose house is spotless, with homemade meals and desert made from scratch on the table every night, the laundry always caught up, my kid always acting perfect and handmade gifts given for every holiday, then you’ve landed on the wrong site.

If you are NOT like the person mentioned above and you want to come hang out with someone who isn’t a Supermom either, then you’ve come to the right place.

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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Making a Mom and a Non-Mom Friendship Work

I have a link to a great article that has a running dialogue between two friends. One a mom and one who is not a mom. The article and link is, “Making Mom-on-Non-Mom Friendship Work”

I am embarrassed to admit I never gave this much thought. I have some friends who are parents. I have a few friends who are not parents and I know many people who are parents of older children who are grown and out of the house. I feel these older parents have forgotten what it is like to have little ones. I have one really good friend who does not have children, though she may count her ex-husband as being one.

I think once we become parents we often feel that those who don’t are missing out. Our friends may or may not feel that way. Their lives may be very full and having children may not be in their plans in the near future or even not at all. One comment that a mom made to me years ago before I had mine was, “You don’t know what’s like to be busy if you don’t have kids.” That comment always irked me. I was very busy before kids. I worked very hard and I worked a lot of hours. My days were filled with all kinds of activities. I was very, very busy. I may now be even more busy with my son, but let’s face it, we all only have 24 hours in a day and most of us find ways to fill those hours up one way or another. I just have chosen to spend some of those hours with him. Who am I to say I am busier than someone without children. We both just have chosen different things to be busy with.

As parents we may view our non-parent friends as selfish. That’s a terrible thing to accuse a friend of. Just because they have chosen a different path in life doesn’t mean they are selfish. If a person is accusing someone of being selfish for not having kids than maybe it just means that this person is secretly jealous of their friend’s non-kids life and they have insecure feelings over their own choices in life.

On the other side of the coin, if a non-parent cuts all ties with a friend who has become a parent, then they were really not a good friend to start with. Though your friend’s life may have changed after having kids, they are basically the same person deep down and will retain the same qualities you liked about them before they had kids. They may not have the ability to drop everything and go out and have fun as easily as before, but their wisdom and new outlook on life that kids bring may help them to be an even better friend than before.

I hope you get a chance to read the article,
“Making Mom-on-Non-Mom Friendship Work”. I think you’ll find it interesting and useful no matter where you are at in life.

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